Mr. King is right. Writing IS lonely, and having someone who believes in you makes one hell of a difference. Over the past twenty-two months having Mr. Rockstar in my life has made a difference. Differences I wouldn’t have believed. If someone had asked me a little over two years ago if I thought I’d ever start writing again, really writing–working on a novel and actually believing in myself and my talent as a writer–I’d have said “Probably not.” I’d have eventually started writing on my own again, I wrote some of my best poetry when I was depressed, angry, frustrated, bitter, lonely, alone, scared, and/or miserable. But writing short stories or working on a novel was put away as a dream, one of those dreams deferred, because I had lost faith in myself and my talent.
When I began this blog I realized how much I missed writing. Once the wedding was over and I had some free time on my hands I found myself with the desire to write again. Not just the blog, but a story. And not just a short story but a novel. I played around and wrote a few chapters for about 3 novels but I put them away because I still didn’t have the faith in myself necessary to write a novel and finish it. Mr. Rockstar changed all of that. Not only does he believe in me, believe that I have talent and want to read what I write, but he believes that I am more than capable of writing a novel that others will want to read.
I’m not saying I have the kind of talent that will win literary awards, that I could ever win a Pulitzer, but I have the kind of talent that could write the kind of novel that the average Joe would want to read and like, that someone who enjoys a good book would want to read, maybe even the kind of talent that might place my book in some publisher’s hand one day.
He’s supportive in a variety of ways, but one of the most important ways is that he sees my writing as work, honest work. He believes that it’s important and that I should stay at it. He asks me how my writing is going, and during Camp NaNoWriMo he asked about my word count. He gave me high fives. If I was writing he didn’t bother me. He accepted that there were times when I needed to write and wasn’t able to socialize or even spend as much time with him…He even rearranged our bedroom so that we could put my desk in there so I had more privacy than in our dining room, which is where it was before Camp.
He’s made the difference in my confidence and if it weren’t for him I’m not sure I’d have had the faith in myself to pursue my dream–I think I might have left that dream deferred for a long time, maybe permanently. Having him believe in me has made such a huge difference in my life. I’m so very blessed and thankful. I hadn’t realized how lonely writing could be until I began to get serious about it. I hadn’t realized how much of a job it would be either. Not only am I writing again, but now I’m reading more about the craft of writing, as well as reading for pleasure in a whole new way. And as I write each word and I get in that zone I realize after it is over that I’ve forgotten to put the clothes in the dryer or I forgot to take the meat out of the freezer for dinner or I didn’t hear the phone ring…But he understands and doesn’t remotely hold it against me. When I end up taking a long nap in the middle of the afternoon because I was up late writing he will cook dinner and he doesn’t complain.
For the first time in my life I know what it means to have someone truly believe in you and support you.