More about expectations

27 Apr
Some chicken, pork and corn in the barbeque

Some chicken, pork and corn in the barbeque (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Each time someone asks about my dress or our wedding plans and I say that I’m wearing a gun metal grey dress, that we’re having a barbecue reception, or that I’m doing my own invitations, or that I’m having my aunt make our cake, I get that “look.” You know the look. The one that says, “What? Are you crazy? You’ve lost your mind.” Or the the look that says, “I would never do that!,” “That’s so tacky.,” or “I can’t believe you’re doing that.” 

Maybe I’ve looked at one too many websites such as offbeatbride or poptasticbride but I like that there are other brides out there who are making their wedding theirs and not following the “norm.” Back in the day, many people used to have weddings at their parents home or in the parents backyard, or a relative’s, or in a church…They had afternoon tea and lunch afterwards, or a meal that was catered by family members (oftentimes potluck or covered dishes). Truth is, that appeals to me a lot more than a catered full course meal with cocktail hour at some fancy place that is impersonal. Sure you can make it more personal by decorating (though some places do that for you), and you get to choose between a number of meal choices. I’ve been to a few of those weddings, and yes, they were beautiful but only one of them had good food.

What we want is simply to have a pretty wedding that is fun, has good food, good music, and is shared with our family and close friends. David and I talked about what we wanted and didn’t want in the very beginning. What we both agreed on was that it was our wedding and we want people to enjoy themselves, to have fun, and feel comfortable. I remember when I first heard, “You can’t wear a white wedding dress, you’ve been married before.” Then I heard, “You’re not wearing a white dress?” I also heard, “You’re not getting a wedding planner? You’re going to need one.” Quite a few people have told me what we “should” do or what we “can’t” do.

I love the idea of personalizing our wedding. Making it OURS and not some cookie cutter version of the idea of what a wedding is. At the end of the day as long as we’re married, our loved ones are there to share that with us, and we’ve all had a good time I’ll have had the “perfect” wedding.


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