Second guessing your choices

29 May
English: Anneke Grönloh's 1964 Eurovision Song...

English: Anneke Grönloh’s 1964 Eurovision Song Contest dress at the “May we have your dress, please?!” exposition for benefit of the Sandra Reemer Foundation Nederlands: Anneke Grönlohs Songfestivaljurk uit 1964 tijdens de “May we have your dress, please?!”-tentoonstelling ten bate van de Sandra Reemer Foundation (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Pretty much everything I’ve read has included a warning about second guessing your choices. So here I am, just over 100 days until the wedding, and I realized I’ve been second guessing my choices. Choices in regard to the colors, and the bridesmaids dresses, not to mention the decor I haven’t even begun to completely plan yet. Last week I took a long hard look at my inspiration boards, at the pictures I’d put together of the look I wanted. And once I’d done that I realized it is exactly what I WANT, I just wasn’t sure if others were going to like it.

What David and I wanted/want for our wedding is fun, interesting, energetic, positive, pretty, and fun (oh, wait, I already said that).  And what we’ve picked out is exactly all of those things. My dress is magic. The little black dresses really do fit the personalities of everyone, as well as the vision of wedding. The black suits with red ties and the funky music socks I’m going to get the groomsmen are exactly right. So instead of second guessing my our choices I’m now going to concentrate on the smaller details of the wedding.

So why all the angst? Why second guess myself?

Planning a wedding, especially on what is pretty much a non-existent budget is difficult. The hardest part, I have realized, is that you have to make compromises in a variety of areas that sometimes can cause hurt feelings, frustration, drama, and stress. For example, there is no way that we can invite everyone we want to invite. We can’t afford it. And there is no way that we can include everyone we want to include in the wedding. There is no way we can afford a real Plan B if it rains.

I feel bad that we can’t invite everyone. I feel bad that we don’t have enough money to afford a cocktail hour, and an open bar. But David reminded me that this is about us–it is OUR DAY. I was really close to wanting to elope, just going down to the courthouse and saying screw all this planning, etc. It’s just too stressful. Thank Goodness for David! He reminded me of what this is really about, what we really want, and how important it is that we not forego what we really want because we’ve gotten stressed out.

Now that I’ve taken a break from the wedding planning I feel much better about my choices and decisions.



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2 responses to “Second guessing your choices

  1. ADetailedHouse

    May 29, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    Little black dresses is brilliant!!!!! How many times do people buy bridesmaid dresses only to never wear them again??? I have too many to count in insipid pastel colors. It will look visually stunning and you are doing them a HUGE favor!!! Bravo!!

    • Lissa

      May 29, 2012 at 6:22 pm

      Thank you! One of my bridesmaids suggested a little black dress, and the more I looked at weddings (via magazines, wedding sites, blogs, etc) the more I liked the idea of non-matching bridesmaids dresses. I’ve been in a few weddings and had to wear the most awful pastel long dresses-dresses that were donated to GoodWill or the Salvation Army. I want not just my personality, the groom’s personality, but also the personality of our wedding party as a whole to have personality. It’s a celebration, and I think that is the bulk of our “wedding theme.”


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