A Healthy Relationship

31 May
Smiley face

Smiley face (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

While David and I were talking about something, I was reminded of what is and isn’t healthy in regard to a relationship. According to various experts (as well as real life experience)…

In an unhealthy relationship, one or both of you:

  • Try to control or manipulate the other.
  • Make the other feel bad about her/himself.
  • Ridicule or call the other names.
  • Dictate how the other dresses.
  • Do not make time for each other.
  • Criticize the other’s friends, family…
  • Are afraid of the other’s temper.
  • Discourage the other from being close with anyone else.
  • Ignore each other when one is speaking.
  • Are overly possessive or get jealous about ordinary behavior.
  • Criticize or support others in criticizing people with your gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, disability, or other personal attribute.
  • Control the other’s money or other resources (e.g., car).
  • Harm or threaten to harm children, family, pets, or objects of personal value.
  • Push, grab, hit, punch, or throw objects.
  • Use physical force or threats to prevent the other from leaving.

How do you know that you have a healthy relationship with someone?

  • You feel good about yourself when you are with that person.
  • You support each other.
  • You take an interest in one another’s lives: health, family, work, etc.
  • You think that both people work hard to treat the other person well.
  • You feel safe around the other person.
  • You like being with the other person.
  • You feel that you can trust him or her with your secrets. 
  • You communicate clearly and openly.
  • You have letters, phone calls, and e-mail that are completely your own.
  • You make healthy decisions about alcohol or other drugs.
  • You encourage other friendships.
  • You are honest about your past and present sexual activity if the relationship is intimate.
  • You know that most people in your life are happy about the relationship.
  • You have more good times in the relationship than bad.

Since David and I have both been in an unhealthy relationship (or two), we are both much appreciative of each other, we’re extremely respectful of each other, and we are open and honest with each other.

The other week I was really stressed out over a number of things (wedding planning, etc) and I needed some time to unwind.  David tells me, “Go hang out with your friends. You haven’t done that in a long while. Go! Have fun!” He has to go to bed really early that night because he as to be at work in the wee hours of the morning, before the sun has even risen. He also tells me, “Dress up….(and then) You look sexy!” and in the back of my mind I’m thinking Oh, I better change. This is too sexy…I’m unsure about going out, unsure about what I have on…And it hits me! Whew! WTH!? I’m unsure because I had “learned” not to dress remotely sexy, to dress so that I wouldn’t draw attention to myself, and even though I’d gotten past the bulk of all that after I became single, and made myself become a “work-in-progress” so I could re-develop my self-esteem and confidence, had finally become completely happy all by myself and was really enjoying being alone, now that I’m in a serious relationship I have  few unresolved small issues lurking in the recesses of my mind.

David and I talk about it. We talk about everything. He doesn’t judge me. He hugs me. Tells me how much he loves me and appreciates me. How wonderful I am and how he knows I haven’t been able to spend much time with my friends lately, and I should enjoy myself. Tells me how beautiful and sexy I am, and how blessed he is that he has me in his life. He also tells me how much he trusts me, and how when he wanted to hang out with his friends, which included a short road trip out of town, I didn’t blink an eye and said, “Have fun. Be careful.” As we talked, I was once again amazed at how wonderful my future husband is, and how amazing it is to be in a happy, healthy relationship.

Leave a comment

Posted by on May 31, 2012 in blessings, friends, love, thankful


Tags: , , , , , ,

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s



Envision Your Future Online

Helping you Improve your Online Business


I really like Ryan Gosling.

Kendall Kessler Art

Original Art by Award Winning Artist Kendall Kessler

Granny Smith: Unleashed

Observations and random thoughts from a "not so teenager."

Digital Dimensions

Blog about Blogging and Digital Marketing

Critical Dispatches

Follow me on Twitter and Instagram @RichyDispatch

A.D. Martin

writing - novels - film - television - video games - other stuff

Kev's Great Indie Authors

Supporting Indie Authors Worldwide


Der Luftfahrt Blog

Bali Tours

Bali Best Activities And Tour Packages

Daily (w)rite

Author Site for Damyanti Biswas

Go Jules Go

Writer. Blogger. Chipmunk enthusiast.


She turns coffee into books so she can afford to buy more coffee. And more books.

Crafted in Carhartt

about women who do amazing things

Dan Frugalberg

Life lived simply

Humanity777's Blog

The Church of Christ

McWilliam Media

Invincibility is the best Identity...


Writer, Blogger, Artist, Journaler, Coffee Addict

Blue Monkey Writing

Living a Blue Monkey Life in a Brown Monkey World

Woman Of Many Interests

By: H. J. Dobson

stuff i tell my sister

This blog is about stuff. Random thoughts and photos from an Oklahoma gal.

The Dissocial Mom


Thin spiral notebook

My journal of big words and pretty pictures

Magical Mayhem

This is My Blissful Blog all about our flintstone family, Me, Sexgod, Angel, Cherub , Georgie my lovely labrador and all the fantastic family fun & awesome adventures we have together :)

A Round of Words in 80 Days

The Writing Challenge That Knows You Have A Life

Flux + Flow

a lifestyle blog by jasmine eclipse


as and when days

Rebekah Wolveire

In the mind of a Writer

readful things blog

colourful language, colourful opinions

Wide Awake But Dreaming

Slip into my thoughts and do watch your step


Hi, I'm Jeff Dick. This is me exposing myself.

Life Is Like That

Man is only a pilgrim on Earth

Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

Echoes of Life, Love and Laughter

She writes books...

Just another site

Rachel Poli

I read. I write. I create.

Emilie Hardie

Dedicated writer since 2013

[ adriejf writes. ]

writer by night. victim advocate by day. waitress at heart.

Coffee and Curse Words

Your daily dose of caffeine and truth

Cheeni Thoughts

a lifestyle blog!


~Weaving Words in her Web~

Old Herring Detective Bureau

Knaresborough Mysteries - A Novel about Lady Matilda Arkwright

%d bloggers like this: