Thoughts on wedding planning, WIC, non-traditional brides, and reality

27 Aug

As I type this I am 12 days away from getting married, or as my FUTURE HUSBAND says, “No babe, we’re 11 days away…” He doesn’t count our wedding day in the actual count down because it is “W” day. Over the past few months, since January 16, 2012, since we got engaged, I’ve been planning our wedding. Originally, David wanted to get married May 26, 2012, which would have been fine with me except that really didn’t give us much time to plan things, to find the stuff we needed (like a dress, etc), and my daughter was pregnant and really didn’t want to be “big” during for our wedding, and he really wanted (still wants) his sister who lives in Utah to be at the wedding. So, we went round and round about a date. When we finally settled on our date (September 8, 2012), we began the planning.

I did a great deal of research before we did anything. I looked at dress after dress online, I looked at indoor and outdoor real wedding pictures, I looked at color schemes and bridesmaid dresses, flowers, and looked through various bridal magazines and websites. There were a number of wedding dresses that were absolutely gorgeous, stunning, and that were we having an indoor wedding, especially a church wedding I’d have chosen one of them in a nan0-second, but we’re having our wedding outdoors–in my parents yard. The ceremony will be in their front yard and the reception will be in their backyard. And we’re really excited about the wedding. The wedding itself, but all this planning has been a bit much. It has turned out way more complicated than we planned, it’s way more stressful than it should have been, and as I type this there are still a number of things I still need to finish, as well as get started on.

While looking up wedding ideas I found the most fabulous wedding website: Offbeat Bride When I knew I wasn’t going to wear a white dress, and we weren’t going to do the whole “traditional” type of wedding I also found myself bombarded with the “well-meaning” but aggravating or hurtful or sarcastic comments from people: “You can’t wear white, you’ve been married before,” or “What do you mean you’re not wearing white,” or “You’re a bride, you have to wear white” or “What kind of wedding are you having, then?” etc…

Truth is we’re having a music themed wedding because we met via music and friends, plus David is a singer and guitar player (lead guitar and bass), and I wanted something that was significant, interesting, and could be easy to tie things in with. I am not wearing a white dress because I found a gunmetal grey dress that I fell in love with–if I’d found a black dress, a red dress, a white dress, or a striped dress I’d fell in love with I’d have bought it and be wearing it. I don’t care about the wedding industry’s bullshit, nor do I care about what others think, the only thing that mattered to me was: Did I feel like a bride, Did I look good in it, Would the Future Husband love it as well, and Could we afford it????  I was going to go with purple as a main color, which looks beautiful with silver/grey, but not all of my bridesmaids would look good in that color, nor would they all look good in the same dress, so after a month of thinking it over, and asking others what they thought about certain dresses, etc. we came to a cumulative decision: why not go with little black dresses??? So we did. Little black dresses with silver shoes, and they get to pick their own dress and shoes, no one will match but the whole thing will match because it’s a theme…Black and silver…

During the past few months OBB has saved me from losing it, as well as helped me come up with great ideas that will save me money, has given me more of a sense of self-confidence when it comes to rolling with our non-traditional wedding. I’m super excited about my wedding, and I’m confident that regardless of whether everyone likes our wedding there will a great many people who love and care about us who do love our wedding and who have a great time. As it gets closer and closer to the date I find myself getting more nervous yet even more excited at the same time.

I am thrilled that we’re getting married. I am so excited about all of it, but I’m nervous that I won’t get everything finished. So now I’m back to cutting out petals for our bouquets….




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