We’re at 2 days, well actually it’s less than 2 days now because by this time on Saturday we’ll be getting ready…And until yesterday morning I’ve been relatively calm for the past week or so. Though I thought I’d be filled with anxiety, in panic mode, I was just fine. However, yesterday morning everything sort of changed. I was in mid conversation, albeit a one-way conversation since I was responding to a journal post on OBB, and I realized all that still needs to be done. And as I thought about things I began to realize that what is important to me is not necessarily important to my FH. And what is important to him is not necessarily important to me. Though we do have mutual things of importance when it comes to the wedding.
I read or heard somewhere that the wedding is about others and the marriage is about the couple…And as I thought about it I realized in a way that is true. Because this is my second marriage and I am older than the average bride all of this wedding stuff is somewhat different for me. I am 45 years old and have been divorced for almost 19 years. My FH is 34 and has been divorced for about 7 years. Neither of us had an actual wedding the first go round–we both went to a courthouse and got married. So when we got engaged we both knew we wanted an actual wedding. But what kind of wedding? How fancy? How simple? How much were we willing to spend? (Not much, because we’re both starting over so-to-speak so we don’t have much money at all, and the little we do have keeps going into our home.) As we talked about things we realized we wanted more of a party with a wedding. What was most important to us was that our family and friends were there to share the special day with us. Of course, as
we I started planning our wedding we I soon realized no matter what we did it was going be more complicated than we originally thought.
I come from a large extended family (my daddy died when I was 7 and my mom remarried when I was almost 9, so I have 3 family’s, and they are all rather large families), and FH has a LOT of friends and is the only son and the baby out of 5 kids. And as I began my search for THE DRESS I soon realized that I didn’t really want a white one. I wanted something that had color and was beautiful, gorgeous, at least a little sexy, and could be worn again if I wanted, and that still made me feel like a bride…I wanted something different, unique, something that was me. Of course, people had opinions: “you can’t wear white, you’ve been married before” kind of thing, which sort of made me want to wear a white dress, but ultimately the decision as to what dress was MY DRESS came from my heart. It was the dress that made me feel like a bride, made me feel gorgeous, and was also not that expensive …and can actually be worn again. Truthfully, the dress isn’t the only thing that makes you feel like a bride, at least not for me. I have chosen to wear a veil, and it makes me feel like a bride, and I got fancy shoes which are absolutely gorgeous and sexy and were expensive and made me feel oh so beautiful and feminine.
And the makeup and hair, and the flowers (though they are made out of sheet music and not real ones), and the sexy white robe that my MOH got me from Victoria’s Secret that says “Bride” on the back that I’ll be getting ready in and then later wearing on my honeymoon, and the longline white bra and lacy white thongs with the tiny little blue bow on them, and the garter,
and the very fact that we are getting married, in and of itself, just makes feel so bridal.
We’re having a music themed wedding for various reasons (FH is in a band–lead singer and guitar player, we met via music). I’m a book nerd and creative, so I combined my love of words (used Bob Marley’s long quote about love to create my bouquet, and am using the sheet music from Edwin McCain’s song “I’ll Be” for the BM’s bouquets, since that is one of our songs. And I made our invitations,
which I created in MS Word and went to Michael’s and bought boxes of their black & white damask invitation kits to print them on, but hand wrote all the names and addresses on the front of the envelopes…Created the programs myself in MS Word.
Using that same music symbol that I used on the invites. And then am using it on the cards for the guest book. So as I kept coming up with ideas, thanks to OBB and a few other places, I realized that the small personalized touches were really important to us. And would make it more personal in regard to our guests. And we’ve had a great deal of help from our family and friends: For example, a good friend of mine used to a professional photographer and he’s doing the photography for us, all we had to do was get him the memory card. And another good friend of ours does carpentry work and has made us an arch for the ceremony. And one of my aunt’s is making our cake (which is red velvet), and cupcakes. And a different aunt put the sheet music roses I’d made into actual bouquets for me. And F-MIL has gotten most of the napkins, utensils, plates, cups, etc for the reception (and the got all that stuff for the rehearsal dinner). And A friend of ours is marrying us. And my uncle is playing and singing George Straight’s “Cross My Heart” for me to walk down the aisle to, and playing and singing Edwin McCain’s song “I’ll Be” for the recessional. And my parents and brother have done so much work on their yard for us to get married in their yard. And a good friend of ours is playing and singing at our reception and he’s written us a song, which will be our first dance. Since our budget was almost NIL, it’s been so awesome that so many of our family members and friends have pitched in to help us. And it has made me remember why weddings were so wonderful when I was little. When I was young we had several family members get married in the house I grew up in. It was a big family thing. We had lots of guitar playing and singing, great food, and lots of laughter after the ceremony’s were over. And it felt a lot like a family gathering that included a wedding, and that is what I wanted for our wedding, and it’s what I am getting. So I’m super excited. So when you add in the cake toppers
that I ordered and the guitar socks I ordered for FH
and the onesie for my 7 week old grandson who will be our ring bearer
and the bracelet I found that matches almost perfectly with the top of my dress
and WA LA! Here is the bulk of our wedding stuff. I still need to print the Card Sign for the guitar case we’re using for cards, and finish spray painting the jars we’ve saved for the centerpieces but we’re almost THERE!!!! We have less than 2 days!!!! I am so excited, and just a little stressed out with what I have left to do (make a few more sheet music roses, and spray paint jars and add the musical note stickers, and pack for the wedding and then pack for the honeymoon, etc)….YAY!!!!! We’re almost wedded!!!!