I know it’s been a while since I posted, but things have been a bit crazy and I haven’t had internet access on a regular basis lately. Updates will be posted…
Mr. Rockstar and I are doing great. We’re so happy together. The other day someone said, “Marriage? I’m completely against it. Why ruin a good thing?…What would you want to do that for?… ” and my first thought was, “What they hell? You don’t say that kind of shit to a newlywed?” but as I thought about it some more, I began to realize that for some people, including David and I before we met, marriage is just not a feasible option or at least it doesn’t feel that way. When David and I met I was not interested in marriage, hell I wasn’t interested in dating anyone seriously, but the more I got to know David the more I wanted to be around him, the more I was around him the more I realized I wanted to be around him all the time, and after about 5 months I realized I wanted to spend forever with him, not just “right now.”
I was lucky. Extremely lucky when I met him and we clicked. When we met I was about to turn 43 years old and I had never had a healthy, happy, long-term relationship. It wasn’t that I hadn’t loved before, I had, but I hadn’t been with anyone that I truly felt like I could completely be myself with and be liked and loved. Prior relationships were sort of a hit or miss thing and it was more miss than hit. I had been lied to, cheated on, verbally abused, left for someone else, and/or made to feel like I wasn’t good enough. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made mistakes in past relationships, but I’d learned valuable lessons and knew by the time I met David that although I loved myself (finally) and was happy alone I wished that I was meant for a long-term love. It didn’t feel like love was meant for me. David felt the same way. He’d been through a great deal as well (similar stuff that I’d gone through, some worse some better), and he was at that same place: I am happy alone.
So when we met we were in the same book, in the same chapter, on the same page. And our story began. So after thinking about what that person (and other’s have said similar things) I realized that part of the problem is that people need to open their hearts and their minds. Love is out there. Whether or not it is for you at that particular time, or with that particular person, is a different story, but it’s out there and it’s real. Sometimes it takes what feels like a lifetime for it to find you–and that is the key–it has to find you, you can’t go looking for it.