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Happily Ever After: The Fairy Tale or Reality?

28 Feb
Fairy Tale Forest

Fairy Tale Forest (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Daily Prompt: Happily Ever After “And they lived happily ever after.” Think about this line for a few minutes. Are you living happily ever after? If not, what will it take for you to get there?

When I was young I believed in the Fairy Tale. I believed that unconditional, romantic, heart stopping, butterflies in the stomach, real love exited. Then my high school sweetheart of four years cheated on me, lied to me, and my heart was broken, and I became somewhat cynical, but definitely cautious.

Skip to now, over 25 years later.

 

I think some of us have to go through wrong relationships, or relationships with the wrong person, or sometimes it’s just the wrong time. For years, that was me. Wrong person, wrong time, wrong relationship…

I saw Mr. Rockstar and I immediately knew I wanted to get to know him. Once we officially met and began to get to know each I realized that when I was around him I was happy, happier just being around him. Since we began dating, and once we got engaged and then married, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been. Okay, to be honest, we’re broke but we’re happy (there’s a song in there somewhere, lol). We’re working towards fixing up the house, which needs quite a bit of work, fixing a few small things with the car (that he just got me back in October), and trying to pay our bills all at the same time. So we’re sometimes overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, and stressed out, but we’re happy with each other.

If life were a fairy tale he’d have found the perfect job by now. A job that pays him what he’s worth and has great benefits. I’d be in photography school so I’m on the path towards my dream career. If life were a fairy tale things wouldn’t break all the time. A few weeks ago, something with the car broke and the same day the dryer broke. Within hours of each other. We were both about to completely freak out! Finally we both said something that made each other laugh and we immediately felt better. However, it didn’t fix the stuff that was broken.

Reality is: If you’re not happy by yourself, and with yourself, then you’re not going to be happy with someone else. No one can make you happy if you’re not happy alone. Once you’re with someone they can make you happier. Mr. Rockstar makes me happier than I’ve ever been. Before I met him I was happy. With him, I am happier. We’re both the happiest we’ve ever been. At least in our relationship. But life is filled with stuff that happens, and we’ve found that when those things happen we tend to make each other feel better. We make each other laugh. We remind each other of what is important. Right now, things are tough, but we’re happy. Would we be happier if I didn’t have uterine tumors, if we had health insurance, if he had a job he loved and that paid him well with benefits, if I were in school, if things wouldn’t break ALL the time? Sure! Of course. But that’s life.

If you’d asked me three years ago if I’d ever get married again I’d have said, NO! Do I believe in happily ever after? In a way. I believe that life is what you make it. That happiness is about more than your relationship with someone else, it’s also about your relationship with yourself. I don’t think that happiness has anything to do with material stuff, but if money is a stress-er in your life then figuring out a way to handle the stress will make you happier.

Mr. Rockstar and I are compatible. We like each other, we love each other, and we’re in love. We are best friends. We’re spouses. We’re happier with each other than we have ever been. Are there things that would make us happier? Sure…but those are just regular life things like a better job, health insurance, school, etc. Those things aren’t mandatory for our happiness though.

People want to believe in the fairy tale of “happily ever after,” like in the story of Cinderella. It’s not that simple, nor is that realistic. Maybe for some, but in real life stuff breaks, people get sick, people get laid off, people have bills…So you make sure that you take the time and make the effort to keep your relationship a priority, and you find ways to de-stress. Remember that it’s the simple things that are really important helps keep the other person feeling appreciated and cared about. Mr. Rockstar often massages my shoulders or he’ll make me coffee in the morning (he gets up before I do), or after we eat (I’ll have cooked dinner) and he’ll do the dishes…Not long ago, he made me breakfast–he was off from work. Or I’ll make his favorite dinner, or I’ll make him a cup of coffee, or I’ll bring him breakfast in bed…We treat each other the way we want to be treated, with kindness, respect, affection, honesty, and trust. To me, that’s the happily ever after I want…To grow old with someone who truly loves me, whom I truly love; to grow old with my best friend; to be treated with love, kindness, respect, affection, honesty, and trust for the rest of my life…

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8 Comments

Posted by on February 28, 2013 in DPChallenge, life, little things, love, marriage, Uncategorized

 

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8 responses to “Happily Ever After: The Fairy Tale or Reality?

  1. TammyeHoney

    February 28, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    Thank you for the ping back and for sharing your ideas…awesome

     
    • Lissa

      February 28, 2013 at 2:53 pm

      You’re welcome. 😀

       
  2. purpleborough

    February 28, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    It sounds like a fairy story to me! The two of you are happy and life happens. A great philosophy!
    It will get better. I believe.

     
    • Lissa

      February 28, 2013 at 3:47 pm

      Thanks. It’s working for us 99% of the time. There are days when it gets to be a bit too much and one or the other of us gets cranky, and we sound like one of the characters from “Grumpy Old Men,” lol

       
  3. sneloj

    March 4, 2013 at 12:38 am

    Thank you for sharing this Lissa! I agree to this philosophy. You have to love yourself first before you can truly love and accept someone else in your life. And i must say, i’m still in the process of doing so because i just recently regained control over myself when i started losing weight and living healthy. But i’m slowly getting there. 🙂 Wishing u more peace, happiness and love come your way. :))

     
    • Lissa

      March 9, 2013 at 6:51 am

      Thank you so much. 😀

       
  4. xxixxi

    March 9, 2013 at 12:11 am

    “If life were a fairy tale things wouldn’t break all the time.” So true

     

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