I remember when I was in elementary school I was playing school teacher but what I was actually doing was pretending I was teaching kids how to read and write. I read books aloud to my imaginary students. I had them participate in writing hour, which meant we sat quietly and wrote for one hour and then people shared their stories. I never taught my imaginary students math or geography or science–just reading and writing. As I got older I stopped teaching my imaginary students and started helping my friends with their papers, I became the official editor for many of my friends. I had talent. I loved reading and writing. Those were my passions, along with photography.
Somewhere between not having the funds or the self confidence to use my partial scholarship for journalism and go to college and going out into the real world and getting a job as a bank teller I stopped believing in my dream. Then when I was in my early 30’s I decided to go to college. I enrolled at a 2 year college and was on the Dean’s List, and part of Phi Thetta Kappa and I was rolling right along. I’d decided to major in journalism (written communications)/Creative Writing/English (depending on the 4 year college, and then for several reasons over the course of the 10 years I tried to get my bachelor’s degree I had to drop out, then I’d go back, drop out, go back, until finally I just gave up. I gave up on college, I gave up on writing, I gave up on my dream. Part of it had to do with the toxic relationship I was in during that time, (like college it was on again off again, mostly because it was toxic)…When I finally left that relationship I tried one more time to go to college but ended up losing my job, and unemployment doesn’t cover nearly enough for internet and computer repair, so once again I dropped out.
On the in-between, after walking away from the toxic relationship and meeting Mr. Rockstar, I bought myself a digital camera. I began taking pictures of everything, everyone, so much so that people began to think of me as the unofficial photographer of various places and events. When I met Mr. Rockstar, the night we met but didn’t officially meet since we didn’t actually talk to each other and weren’t introduced but were sitting at the same table with mutual friends (what rude people, right? LOL!) I happened to take a picture of the people sitting at the table and he was one of them. He calls it my stalker photo–laughs and says he’d never had a stalker before. I realized over that first six months that we were together that I longed to write and that photography was also one of my passions. For my birthday last July he bought me a much nicer camera (a Canon PowerShot) and I love it. It’s great for when you’re on the go. We’ve looked at more expensive cameras for later down the road, but right now we’re working on a few other things that are more important. Not to mention that I would rather wait until after I’ve started photography school and know more about them so I can get the one that’s best for the kind of photography that I want to do.
Last November was a busy month for us. We’d been married for almost 2 months when November started, I was working at his family’s business, we were playing catch up after the wedding (weddings are expensive no matter how much you plan and save and DIY) so we didn’t have internet access and my laptop when kaput (I could use it for NaNoWriMo at work but one week into November it crashed). So no NaNoWriMo for me.
I began writing on my desktop. No internet means no distractions. And I began and stopped at least 3 novels. I got to chapter 3 or 4 and felt like it was utter shit and said OH WELL and began a new one. Then in January my desktop crashed. I got that dreaded blue screen with the error message (something about a kernel) and it had to be fixed. Now both my computers are working (my son uses my laptop for school) and I have my desktop set up in the dining room for now. Then in February I found out about Camp NaNoWriMo and I got super excited. I told Mr. Rockstar about it. I told my son and my daughter about it. I told one of Mr. Rockstar’s sister’s about it. And a nephew, and my brother, and my mom and dad. And here I am participating in Camp NaNoWriMo. Day 3 just ended and my total word count is at around 10,169 words. I’m in Chapter 3 and I know I’ll have to do a LOT of editing and revising. I know I’ll need to kill off at least one character. I know I need to practice, practice, practice so that one day I’ll be published. But I believe in myself. I am going after my dream. I am WRITING! I’m a writer.
Maybe there are parts of the whole NaNoWriMo thing that are a little cheesy, or maybe they’re just fun, or maybe it just depends on how you look at it. I’m having fun. The only drawback to this thing is that I’ve already been in 2 cabins and neither of them were very active, at least 2 hadn’t even showed up, and one of the one’s that did show up and say something still hasn’t bothered to post anything in the wordcount. Maybe they’re late starters. I don’t know, but I specifically requested an active cabin with people who were on daily. If I’m going to be in a quiet cabin then I’m going to be in that cabin all by myself. For me it’s either complete and utter quiet so I can concentrate or it’s fun and interesting so I am motivated.
Tomorrow I’ll find out about my new cabin. We’ll see. I’m not holding my breath though.
Now that I’ve written a blog post, I’m trying my hardest not to become a slacker when it comes to this blog, and I’ve taken a nice long hot bubble bath with candles and wine and a book to read while I soaked in those wonderful bubbles and that amazing hot water, I’m about to go back to chapter 3 and see if I can’t figure out a way for my main character and her potential love interest to connect and want to get to know each other better. Otherwise, she’ll be falling for him when he saves her from the assassin who is going to try to kill her while she’s at her grandparent’s funeral, and I’d really rather her not fall for him because he saved her. I like this character, and I love writing, and I’m having fun writing the book and fun with the character. For the first time in a very long time I am motivated, Mr. Rockstar supports me (he’s my biggest fan…Which is what I tell him in regard to his music (he sings and plays guitar) and he’s actually quiet talented. A friend of ours, a female, told me when we first began seeing each other “He could sing the panties off a woman…” and all I could do was laugh.)
Part of being supportive means you take the good with the bad. I’m busy writing right now, so he’s not getting to spend as much time with me, but I’ve made it a point to spend some quality time with him. It’s conducive to my happiness as well. He believes I’m talented enough to one day be published. He believes in me and that makes such a huge difference. So as I begin to write the scene for my main character and her potential love interest knowing the difference between real love and momentary passion or obsession or lust or friendship or being comfortable or whatever will certainly help. I think I’ll begin with interest and maybe a little subtle flirting or maybe I’ll just let her fall for him when he saves her and until then he’s just a nice guy with REALLY ROUGH edges, who is sarcastic and aloof and angry and a bit self destructive right now because….Well, I’ll save all that for the book. LOL!